How Coaching Is Different Than You Think — And Why It Actually Works

When you first hear the words “Life Coach,” what do you immediately picture?

Be honest—it’s probably something like a shallow Hollywood celebrity or socialite, strolling around with a designer dog in a Hermes bag, blaming their bad behavior on advice from their “life coach” about protecting their boundaries better. No shame, friend. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think the same thing back before I really understood what coaching was all about.

To be fair, the coaching world is still pretty much the wild west—mostly unregulated and wide open to interpretation. Anyone with an internet connection and a social media account can (and probably does) call themselves a coach. Some offer solid strategies and actionable programs, while others toss out philosophical riddles that confuse more than clarify.

But don’t lose hope! There are coaches who genuinely practice the art and science of coaching—and that’s what I want to unpack for you here. I’ll share what coaching is, what it isn’t, how it differs from consulting and counseling, and why it can be such a powerful resource.

Let’s start with the word itself

I recently learned that the word “coach” comes from the Hungarian word kocsi, meaning “of Kocs,” a village famous for its horse-drawn carriages in the 15th century. Those carriages carried people comfortably from one place to another. Pretty cool, right? Coaching seems to have come full circle to its original meaning—though more symbolically than literally.

Imagine hopping into a coach or carriage—it's going to get you from where you are to where you want to be. You get to choose which style to ride and commit to embarking out.

Regardless of style, Regency Era, or Little House on the Prairie, all true coaches exist to move you forward. Conditions may change, and while your destination is known and locked in, the path and route to get there may shift. But as you travel along and test the terrain, you know you’ll get there. That’s coaching in a nutshell: moving forward.

Put me in, coach!

If the Hollywood image doesn’t match your idea of coaching, maybe you picture sports coaches—those folks guiding athletes through drills and game plans. There’s a connection there: both types of coaches help turn goals from abstract ideas into reality. But here’s the big difference: in life and corporate coaching, you do most of the thinking and strategizing. I’m not here to impose my ideas or be the expert on your life or business—that’s your domain. Anyone who has a game plan or strategy for you to simply enact is really functioning as a consultant.

So, what about counseling and therapy?

You might recall from my first blog that I studied Psychology, and maybe you’re wondering why I became a coach rather than a therapist or counselor. First off, I have mad respect for therapists. It’s a true vocation, and the people who do it are incredible.

Therapists dive deep into emotional trenches and explore past experiences that might be holding someone back. They work to identify and address conditions or disorders that interfere with daily life, often spending a lot of time unpacking the past.

Coaching doesn’t ignore the past entirely, but it treats it differently. If, as we’re traveling along (keeping with the coach journey analogy), something blocks our path, like a boulder and we can’t move around it, we’ll grab some tools to alter our path, or push it out of the way. Think of that roadblock as a past experience or inner block that has been preventing you from reaching your goal, making you turn back rather than press on. Coaching asks, “Knowing this happened, how does it affect what you’re doing now to reach your goals?” Therapy might ask, “Why did that memory come up today, and what does it tell us about why you’re here?” Many therapists incorporate coaching skills when appropriate.

Also, not everyone needs therapy if their main goal is setting and achieving objectives. I’ve worked with clients who see me for goal-focused coaching alongside seeing a therapist for mental health support. There’s room for both because they serve different purposes, and with therapy you may find some overlap. A quality coach, however, will never tread into the territory of a therapist, and should have referral recommendations if you need them.

But I can just talk to my friends or find a mentor

When you think about who you turn to for answers—friends and mentors often come to mind. Both can be great, but they usually have a hard time not being invested in your outcome. Because of that, they sometimes unintentionally cloud your judgment or steer you away from what you truly envision for yourself. They might tell you to travel by boat, rather than carriage, not considering that you much prefer the scenery of the country-side rather than the ocean. Coaching provides an unbiased, detached support system that encourages you to find your own clarity, and make your own choices.

Coaching is for everyone

You don’t have to be an Olympic athlete or a CEO managing a merger. No goal is too small or too big for coaching to make a difference. The key to why coaching is so successful and distinct from the other modalities mentioned is that your buy-in drives it. You’re more likely to integrate those “aha” moments from a session when they’re ones you have led yourself to—with the help of a skilled coach who listens deeply and asks the questions your goals inspire.

If you’re curious whether coaching is right for you, the best way to find out is to talk to a trained coach. If you reach out to me looking for a step-by-step business strategy, I’ll happily refer you to experts in that field. But if you want help getting clear on your vision and making decisions—if our vibes align—then yes, let’s get this coach’s wheels rolling.

If you enjoyed learning more about coaching and are interested in seeing how it can work for you, navigate to my Discovery Quiz to find out!